Offerta! Offerta! Scroll Below for the Offerta del Dia!

After leaving Charlyn to tear it up in Antofagasta for a few more days, we were down to the 4 of us...the Four Gringos...the Four Amigos: sworn to protect the state of Washington (or maybe I'll tell that tale when you're older!)

We ventured through the Central Region of Chile, from the beach to the mountains...valleys to the vineyards (they were great), and to make a dumb story dumber...the moral of the story is "don't get the Chilean flu from a street dog...cause you'll wake up with a hideous tattoo of the best futbol club in Chile...Colo-Colo" (except for everyone knows that La U are the eternal champions! Leon! Chuncho!) Alright, some kid taught me that cheer...anyways...moving on...

Then, sadly...in a rain of tears and a hail of taxi...we lost Katie to El Aeropuerto on Wednesday. So, the three of us just stumbled around not knowing how to have fun as just 3...but we managed.

And finally last night, we left for home. Not because we didn't want to have more fun, not because we ran out of money (God bless the Chilean Government...they came through big time!), but because we miss all of you! I guess there is nothing special to talk about when it comes to flying: It was long (but not in retrospect)...it didn't smell like a bathroom (but then again I know how to hold it for more than 10 hours now!)...and I didn't get robbed! Good trip all and all.

So, I am glad to be home. I'm sure you've all been waiting to get gifts, but they seemed to have a shortage of gifts...so I just didn't get any...I hope you're all okay with that!

OFFERTA DEL DIA:

And instead I have decided that today marks the "Los 100 Chilenos" Telethon (the italics means that's my deep, loud espanol announcer voice)! That's right folks, if you call in right now, you too can be a part of my next trip to Chile. Because I have already paid the 100 dollar border fee to enter the country it will now cost just 1000 US dollars to make my triumphant return to Chile. That's right only a trivial 500,000 Chilean pesos! So, act now and contribute to the "Los 100 Chilenos" Telethon. Es correcto! For only a small donation of 10 US dollars per person we can raise that money for a fun filled time in Patagonia, or even a breathtaking hike through Los Andes, maybe some kayaking in the Tierra del Fuego, and of course what trip would be complete without a trip to casa de mama for more than you ever thought you could eat! Act now so that you can get your complementary souvenir (that is assuming they have some next time I go!) upon my return to Estados Unidos! All you have to do is call, operators are standing by. Because of wonderful new internet technology, I can also take donations as a post on this message, just simply leave your credit card and social security numbers. If you note the fine print it says (among other important things) that donations made in Chilean pesos must be of a minumum value of 100,000 pesos, I know that sounds like a lot...but from my experience, Chileans are very giving...and they use the metric system down there, so I figured it would be easier! Alright folks, amigos...damas y caballeros! Act fast, because my passport expires in 2011 and then the fee doesn't work.

In all seriousness (if you're still reading this pointless post...I promise to stop using pointless color and text schemes to get your attention because I don't have pictures to post)

I really do hope to get back there, because as we all discussed, we all had a great time and would love to see the rest of Chile. I can't wait to share my experience with you and if you don't hear from me soon, then call me and bug me, and I may come over and show you some pictures! Thanks for reading the wonderful mis-adventures of Mr. Milliron in Chile! Dios te bendiga!

Gringos 4 Life

Well, everything that you wished never happened to a skinny white gringo in Chile...I got a sunburn and I got robbed! Whatcha gonna do? Or as the Chileans say..."las cosas de vida". Actually that's not what the Chileans said, it was more along the lines of: "You crazy gringos didn't anyone ever tell you to look out for your stuff, people will rob you idiots blind!" Okay, with a little change in the translation, I was more consoled by everyone on the bus after they two guys took off. A couple guys slid up into open seats behind us at a stop, and saw that my bag was jammed under my seat. While the old lady next to Doss saw this, she tapped him on the head. Confused, we both turned around to see the woman screaming and pointing in the other direction. The poor lady was trying to help, and probably actually helped them get away by distracting the idiot North Americans who didn't understand what she was saying. So when I understood "mochila" or backpack, I grabbed it and saw it was open and took off after the two clever fiends...so I traced their scent all the way across the street into a dark alley where I showed them how we settle things on the streets of Spokane, WA...actually thats a lie...I realized my masculine prowess has never come in handy and why would it save me now. That and they were dodging traffic as I ran out to chase them and screamed "Ellos robome camera..." or something like that, I don't speak espanol very well when I'm stressed. So, I got dumb looks from a bunch of locals who figured it out and then began patting me on the shoulder and telling me I need to be careful. I knew all that, but as the gringos discussed later, we didn't expect the bus to be a dangerous place...should've seen that one coming!

But, I have since dealt with the sorry fact, and am glad that Doss has been periodically saving my pictures to this lovely computer and I'm only missing a few good shots of Valparaiso from yesterday. I'm pretty sad because that was one of the best gifts I have ever received and I've taken it all over the world...but I guess I'll just have to start the new saga of photography...as soon as I get some frickin' income...don't you get a free camera for getting into this teacher business? No, alright...I guess I'm not doing this for the money or fabulous prizes! And the other positive was that my bag was so jammed in the seat that the only thing they COULD pull from it was my camera, so the rest of my well being is intact (including my passport and credit cards....yes...all is well!)

But, now comes the imporant part that EVERYONE MUST READ...in no way are you to panic that Katie, Gina, Doss and Jake are in terrible trouble. We have spent the ENTIRE trip being worried and cautious about what we have around us and what people can steal, especially in big places like Valparaiso and Santiago. I am pretty good at this being adult stuff and I take full responsibility for this...it in no way reflects our travel abilities or the proportion to which you all should worry about us (because I can already feel you people getting more scared and motherly for us, and I already have a mother...oh by the way...Mom...don't call my professors panicked about me...because they don't know how to contact us any better than you do!)

Alright, does everyone feel better? Good, cause I do...and I'm sure I'll realize a valuable lesson about worldly possessions along the way. Actually I think I had a theological discussion about forgiveness with a lovely Chilean woman in the bus afterwards. She kept saying "excuse them" and then pointed to her rosary..."por que El" which I knew immediately was something along the lines of...forgive them because He forgave you! Such a great woman, and she walked us to the subway and blessed us after we got off the bus. So, I'm pretty sure we're good for the rest of the trip!

Alright, well I'm going to leave you with a couple happy pictures from Valparaíso because that is the most important thing to remember. We all had a great time and that didn't change. We are headed out to dinner tonight with one of the head people from the Ministry of Education and we aren't sure how much english she speaks, but we're pro at this now! Enjoy the photos and don't worry about us, we can manage for two more days...just be glad no one stole your gifts!

I haven´t rode on a bus this much since....

NEVER! I always walked to school, and I think this trip has doubled the amount of accumulated time I have spent one a bus in my whole life. But, I think like walking to school from all this experience. So, I hope you enjoy the account:

11 AM...we finally left (on Chilean time 45 minutes late)

3 PM...I wish that nap was as long as it felt...and hour doesn´t make the time pass fast enough.

4 PM...the overwhelming stench of urine from sitting too close the the baño is overtaken by Doss´ lovely feet (yes I love you too Doss) or the the hourly spurts of fresh air. So, I´ve resorted to reading or falling asleep watching small children be adorable and get more sleep than me...why can´t I sleep like that.

5 PM...stop in some unknown city for a breath of hot air

7:30 PM...visit from the cute kid a few rows down the aisle...Gina is still looking for a Chilean bébe to kidnap...just kidding (Oh yeah, we forgot to kidnap Juan...oh well, maybe next time! And check out Doss´ video of the Juan dance, just scroll down and check out his cute little face!)

9:30 PM...still no food served since 12 hours ago on this trip and the bus attendant keeps closing the windows to hell...I hope there are windows in hell!

11:30...alright I´m lying about what time it is because I don´t know and I don´t care, I am just sore from not sleeping. Oh, and if I didn´t have a butt before...its flat from sitting on it all day.

4 AM...yes I know what time it is now, because we were scheduled to be there by now...but good news, there is a flat soda and a tiny sandwich thrown in my lap while I slept...great breakfast.

6:30 AM...ah we´re off the bus! Now this is the part where you don´t have to feel sorry for us (but I thought you might enjoy the picture of our pain) because we bought tickets for a bus to Valparaiso in a half an hour...its where we´ve been wanting to go...bring on he beach!

9 AM...part of the appeal of the bus ride was that it was only an hour and a half...so we´re here and after a taxi ride, 3 expensive hostels and walking to two more...

10 AM...we´re here @ Hostal Pilcomayo where it is all we needed, a place to stretch out! Maybe a shower later, but most likely the beach...and no more BUSES!

Thanks for listening...talk to you again soon

Love, Jake <><

And the fat lady sang...but it was in español so I didn´t get it...

Well that Okay there was no fat lady, just a lovely Chilean woman who sang to us with the students some classic Chilean songs (see photo). And I also taught some students to sing "You Are My Sunshine" for the end of the program in front of the whole group of parents. My mom would have been proud...the rest of the United States would have said "why are they singing about Jews (you) and what is Essensheen (sunshine)"...oh prounouncing english...so comico! The kids have been great and we had the final ceremony today to show everything they learned and it was so great. We have great pictures and a bunch of little kids are probably going to be emailing me in español even though they promised to do it in english...we´ll see. But it was a great day and now I have to quickly post before we leave. Okay one more picture of me with the principal of our school (Maru on the left) and mi mamá.

We are hopefully leaving tonight on a bus for Santiago that is paid for by the Education Department who brought us here, but like going to San Pedro, we´re not sure if its going to happen on Gringo time or Chilean Time. When we get to Santiago, I think we are either going to take a 1-2 hour bus ride to Valparaiso (one of the best tourist beaches in Chile I guess) or into wine country for a day or two. It will pretty much be a turn around from the bus station, but we are ready to celebrate the end of our trip and just relax without having to over eat.

On that note of overeating, I would also like to clear up the record on eating. Any perceived ungratefulness is merely the presence of the actual gratefulness, and I was so blessed to be in a place where I was taken care of and worried about even though we generally couldn´t understand the spoken expression of her care. She quickly discovered that we responded to her kindness of giving, and she ran with it. Sharing with us her house, her city, her food, and her family (who we met the last of her sisters last night at about 11:30 at night leaving the house on a whim so that we could squeeze the last little bit in!). Speaking of squeezing in...I think we are headed to the family´s favorite beach spot after school, and then sometime we will be packing to leave, but I guess we have time for one more family moment at the beach. We are so blessed.

I hope this is sufficient for not seeing me for a month, and be sure to enjoy Doss´ linked "Juan blog" from yesterday, and the Chilean Moment of the Day (the other CMD). Look for more posts in the next few days, but we´re not sure when we´ll have internet again. Stay warm in the blizzard (we´ve even heard about all your snow down here in the other hemisphere!)

Juan moment of the day...

Alright not really, but if you click the link above then you can see Doss´ epic tribute to his love of Juan...and yes we are all considering kidnapping for the first time! Just don´t tell any US officials...and enjoy the delightful pictures of the happiest boy Chile ever knew!

Oh and sorry for the obscene content on the CMD...I´ll change that too.

Kids: you can´t stand ´em and you can´t beat ´em...or maybe...

Obviously I am joking, but we have realized that the way teachers interact with students is quite different than we have been instructed at Whitworth. Child protection laws are...well we don´t know, but we haven´t been reprimanded for anything yet, and we´re enjoying it while we can. Case and point, this picture of me taking a swing at a kid to sit down during Dodgeball. They wish I didn´t understand them...but you can´t play dumb with Mr. Jake!

Because of great moments and realizations like this, I thought it was an appropriate day to compile a few of them along with pictures. I thought I would share a few of the better pictures I have gathered with my fellow teachers.

Oh dear Maglio: As with most of the students, he wants attention but has no idea how to get our attention because we don´t understand his fast mumbly español. This picture to the left captures the slow motion instant replay of him taking a frisbee to the face when he was running through our game to get my attention.

"Mr. Jake, Mr. Jake..." WHAM!

Notice the bloody lip and the hidden smirk behind the pleasureful attention he is getting on camera. Oh what a special child!

Speaking of special, what about Juan...no not the kid who swears (whom I adore just as much). This Juan is special. So very intelligent and tries harder than any student to get us to understand him. He is the butt of a few jokes that he doesn´t understand, but he runs off to get his dictionary to explain what he wants to say and runs his chubby little self back to speak broken non-sensical words until we get his point. So adorable...I think there will be a photo-montage devoted to him on Doss´ Blog soon...stay tuned...just wait for the air-guitar picture...I´ll let you know!

And then there are the boy-crazy girls. It takes me back to a day when an attack to the point of a bloody noses means "I like you". I have instilled one breaktime rule: "No fight". "¡Mr. Jake...No fight...they fight...Mr. Jake...aiaiaiaiai!" The kids are insane and there is really no stopping all the touching and wrestling, but my favorite is this picture of Nacho (the depressed young man in the middle of obsessed chicas!) As much as he loves the attention, you can almost read in his eyes: save me from this estrogen hell!

And then there is my class. This picture isn´t actually of them, but this effective displays my teaching style when they don´t understand me. Sit, listen and then I talk really loud and hope that if someone understands the intelligence will spread. Alright, that´s just a break time trick, but I am loving my class and my kids. Playing games and making funny sounds to accompany english words is not just a cool trick that Peggy taught me...it works. I have a lot of fun, and I can´t wait to share with you more. I just hope I don´t come back to Central Valley and have an impulse to whack a kids for standing up or talking. Just kidding, I don´t whack ´em...not too hard at least! Hope this gives you a great glimpse into the school.

The many ways to kill a gringo…

Alright, so Chile won’t be killing me, but there are a few things that may play a part in my future death. These are some of the thoughts I had while on our trip to San Pedro de Atacama (not the beach in Iquique, but an amazingly small resort town in the desert...higher and drier than the high desert I am used to!)

First, my loving mama…who wants nothing more from me than to fatten me like Hansel and Gretl (or maybe Hector...en español). In any event, after a long weekend trip Rosalinda took us to see some great sights in Antofagasta: La Portada (the arch) in the north, and then all the way to Coloso in the south which is a fishing spot and has apparently the best empanadas mariscos in the city (which might kill me if I lived on them alone). So not only did she keep offering us more empanadas which I optimistically thought might be our dinner. No such luck, upon return at 10 pm, she reminded us not to fall asleep because she is making dinner. God bless her, but I was surprised Doss made it through the night…we both thought we were going to explode after all that food.

Second, the water. After sampling a few bottles of free water from the tap in our hostel at San Pedro I thought, “this sure tastes good…none of that gross arsenic tasting junk like in Antofagasta.” Upon return, I braced myself for gagging like usual when I brush my teeth in the nasty arsenic water, and nothing. I am now immune to awful tasting water, and it’s a good thing cause I’m headed back to Spokane water soon (gross).

Lastly, and this will lead into some good stuff about my weekend ventures I promise, the stupid gringos tried to appropriately kill themselves in the Valle de la Muerte (Death Valley). Just in case you didn’t know, the Atacama desert is the driest deserts in the world (as wikipedia puts it...100 times drier than Death Valley of the US!) and we went on a 4 hour trip in the afternoon without more than a half a litre to split between 4 of us. Yes, we were rushed to get there, but a new rule was enforced: water – never leave home without it. So, after Katie and Gina flirted out a bottle of water from another Chilean tour guide (¡Dios te bendiga!, God Bless you!) we made it to an amazing sunset over the Valle de la Luna near some salt flats and amazing geological formations in the desert.

So, the weekend trip was a desperately needed break from…well…having a different kind of fun. We sat around a got burned in the desert sun, walked through the market and plaza in this amazingly small town, and had a near death experience. So, we decided to live up the nightlife and try and left the bus ticket buying until the last minute (Chilean Standard Time). I am thinking that the pictures should just speak for themselves, so I’ll include lots. Hope you enjoy them: